Sunday, January 19, 2014

simplify | when your husband just isn't on board

Turns out that purging your home and life of clutter just isn't for everyone. After extensive research, and time spent looking into how I could simplify our home and lifestyle it turns out that Luke just isn't into it. He likes his stacks on stacks on stacks of books to clutter the living room. He likes his old tshirts that he never plans on wearing again. And he likes to save every box that anything ever comes in - just in case.

At first I was frustrated. Why wouldn't you want to de-stress and un-clutter your life? Doesn't filling boxes with unused stuff and dropping it off at Goodwill give everyone excitement? I tried my very best to convince Luke that this was best for us; that moving will be easier, and that we'll feel so much better once we can finally say that everything we own is of use to us or is something we treasure.

I finally took a step back when he was moving his books to his office and he said, "This is stressing me out."

Whoa.

What was I doing? This was supposed to make us both feel less stressed, and here I was causing my husband (and best friend in the whole world) stress. Sooooo not my intent. So I paused, and I apologized. I told him that this was never my intent. I told him that he can use the dining room as his workspace if it makes him feel comfortable. Turns out he wants to be closer to me --- the office is just too far away. (Cue the awwwws.) Because when your new minimalist lifestyle is stressing someone else out...that just isn't fair, and is actually the opposite of what the lifestyle represents. We're supposed to be getting rid of the unimportant to make more room for what is important --- each other.

So now I accept the little victories, like the fact that he donated FIVE books and let me recycle three boxes. Not to mention he let me rearrange the kitchen for the millionth time. Who knows maybe eventually he'll even let me donate his pile of jeans from high school. A girl can dream, right?

So, moral of the story is make sure your significant other is on board. If he or she is then purge, baby, purge! If not, then give them space and time. Don't make them get rid of their stuff, accept the little victories, and above all make sure that you don't ever make them like your home isn't their home too.

5 comments :

  1. great post. sometimes our missions can be all we see. I know I'm guilty of this.

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  2. This is great. I can totally relate. My husband and I have very different views on what is stressful. Like you, extra stuff stresses me out. I feel great getting rid of things! And naturally, everyone is JUST LIKE ME. Nope. Like you, I've been learning that de-stressing means different things to different people. Huh. Marriage is great for making us learn really obvious lessons, isn't it? :) (I speak for myself)

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  3. Great post! Everyone is different and needs different things, and it's wonderful that you're making sure he's comfortable with the lifestyle. :)

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  4. You, my daughter, are wise beyond her years. And yes, I awww'd. :)

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  5. You are a good wife! Super patient, understanding, and willing to compromise. And that all is not just evident from this one post :) (Now before Luke feels left out, we all can see he's a great husband too!)

    Funny story though: when I saw the title of your post, I jokingly thought that first word following "when your husband isn't on board" would be "DIVORCE!" So glad that's not your style! haha! :)

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